I was going to title this one; Cancer is an Asshole; which we know it can be and often is, especially when we witness how it has devastated so many families, so many lives.
But I couldn’t really find myself writing that down, because as jarring as the words you have cancer are, like everything in life, cancer is another way for the universe to get our attention. We all should know by now, we’re getting tapped, nudged, and whispered to; essentially signals from the universe virtually every minute of everyday. Sometimes a whisper is all it takes, other times we need to be shook to our very core.
I certainly believe that and I thought I was paying attention and for the most part I was, but clearly ignoring a big one, because only a few weeks ago I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Yes, me, someone who has been on a long journey of healing, deep immersion in that scared story of all time, tapping into ancient wisdom which has transformed my life to a place where I have been gifted to help others heal too. I have felt so well, even through some of the toughest circumstances, I felt ease and flow.
So what’s the deal here? I’ve put in the work, I am awake, lights are on, I’m engaged, tuned in, connected … and cancer?
I definitely had that moment, it was definitely a WTF? But it was fleeting, as quick as it came it was replaced by a clear sense that this was a message, a lesson and shift was coming and that I need to just go through, receive with grace and gratitude. This is my message in a bottle.
Yes I know it sounds absurd…Grace and gratitude? I’m a single mom, I’m a care giver, I have a 1000 projects, HERA, our family, our global family, I really don’t need this. But as I sat with it and let that go, clearly I do, I needed to be shaken.
So I’m in this, on this journey, receiving lessons, here’s what I’ve learned so far….
Despite what we hear about our broken healthcare system, (and yes I work in it), it works when you need it most. The investments into care, innovation, research and teaching in cancer is making a difference. A real one. You are literally on a path, as soon as you get a yes it’s positive, you move through a pathway, and they throw everything at it.
People, even the ones who aren’t so crazy about you, are amazingly generous when you and your family need it the most. The outreach, words of support, love, gifts and generosity are truly breathtaking.
Respect your children enough to tell them the truth, they can handle it and they’ll figure it out and fill in the blanks if you don’t tell them the truth. Dev is engaged, he’s scared, but he came to my surgical consult, he listened, he’s still processing but he is with me and I’m with him and we just have to go through it as team positive. And yes we sat there in the cancer centre and said fuck cancer.
There are many paths to healing and you can take more than one at the same time. As an executive in healthcare, I have deep faith in the system, in science. As healer and student of the universe, I believe in ancient wisdom, healing from earth medicine, Indigenous healers, energetic healing, emotional healing. The two approaches are not mutually exclusive and all have a role in my getting well and getting through.
The lessons, when you allow them, come fast and furious; learn to listen to yourself, my intuition told me something was wrong, I knew they were going to find something on that mammogram. Learn to listen to the silence, to breathe, to receive, look for the signals, they’re everywhere.
Believe in your outcome, face it with love not fear, accept the lessons it’s bringing. Surround yourself with people who believe it too.
Embrace the gift of receiving, especially when you are on a relentless path of giving and service to others, receiving and giving are needed to balance each other out.
It’s okay to be scared and to hide under your bed and cry it out, allow that, but don’t dwell there. Let love be your driving emotion. Scared is a symptom, fear is the disease, treat the symptom with love, knowledge, action, belief and you heal the disease. Fear cannot fester where love resides, so use it as one of your most powerful antidotes.
Your journey through the lessons that cancer is here to bring will transmute into love, into strength, into more life, longer life, a better life, a more fulfilled life, through it you may find purpose, your mission and yourself.
Peggy Taillon Founder and President HERA Mission www.heramission.org @heramission 613-769-5499